zombie kampung pandan.

They don't call me Al-Imam Al-Farny for nothing!



Assalamualaikum semua!

Zombie mode is showing it's effects. I've been doing some late night studying for the past 2 weeks. Duduk McD menjual muka sambil cubaan belajar sampai pukul 6 pagi every night. My eyebags dah ibarat sepasang cermin mata gelap Ray Ban.

Anyways, "ketumbit" dah takde! Thanks to a reader of mine, I now know what "ketumbit" is in English. STYE! But "ketumbit" sounds way cooler so I'm gonna stick with that. Cukup lah with all the "Ooo mengintai anak dara mandi eh?" Time betul betul intai takde pulak tumbuh tembikai kat mata, sigh.

Fakta Rawak Tentang Farhan Arif:

Farny Arif tidak boleh mencangkung dengan normal.

Iyess. I can't cangkung properly. Kaki harus "jengket" kalau nak mencangkung. If i try to cangkung cecah tumit kat lantai,

Pek.

Jatuh ke belakang. Pelik. Why? Why?

i like to move it move it!

(You gotta watch Madagascar 2, penguin mafia's the best)

Q: Benda apa yang bertukar hitam-putih-hitam-putih?

A: Penguin tengah berguling.



Tanda-tanda anda sedang dibuli.

• Dipaksa menulis 298 fakta-fakta yang semuanya benar didalam masa 1 hari sahaja. Sehingga jari melecet.
• Reject kesemua 298 fakta tersebut. Hmmph.
• Menuduh anda seorang yang rabun dan menyuruh anda memeriksa mata di kedai optik. Di dalam perjalanan, diugut jika mata walau terdapat sedikit pun kerabunan, dia tidak akan bercakap dengan anda sampai mati.
• Setelah memeriksa, didapati mata perfect. Tetapi dia tidak mahu berkawan dengan anda kerana anda tidak rabun.
• Setiap perkataan yang anda lafaz akan di-interrupt dengan "Aaaahh!!"
• Semua cadangan anda akan dibangkang. Tidak akan disokong lansung.
• Gemar melakukan perkara yang anda tidak suka. An an an an?
• Ketika anda sedang seronok tidur, kepala diketuk dengan teddy bear tidak bermata.
• Anda sedang seronok bercerita, bila habis dia akan berkata "So?"
• Suka menyuruh anda memberi urutan kepala, tetapi enggan melakukan kepada anda.
• Banyak lagi, tapi kalau tulis banyak banyak hati taufu akan ditikam lidi.
  

Dedicated to Mumble Girl.

farny's back. tum-to-da-bit!

Hello people!

It's been awhile but i guess I'm gonna start writing back because Mumble Girl managed to persuade me. Anya, kau pun tak berjaya membodek tau tak. Haha! Sorry for the absence, I've been really busy. Konon nak berlagak nerd belajar for exams. I've been left alone again at Shah Alam. Again. Kenapa la my course kena habis lambat sangat. Mengundang. So, sesiapa yang nak melepak dengan Si Sunyi Shah Alam please feel free to call!




Anyways, I have a "ketumbit" on my left eye. It's the size of Mercury. Besar macam babi sial! Aura macho menurun sebanyak 25% terus. I'm thinking of wearing an eye-patch. Aye aye captain!

There's much to write actually tapi semua topik berterabur. So I'm gonna write more later eh.

Oh ya, what the hell is "ketumbit" in English?

malasnya nak menulis.

Takde mood. Bye!

berita tergempar malaysia.

Anya Qarira Roslan the monkayh, kau si miskin!

I made RM0.75 dah kat my Nuffnang!

I'm gonna get rich soon! Blogger mewah la I macam ni.

You're losing the battle woman!

People, click more, click more! I like!

monyet bergayut di tengkuk.

Okay, so Anya's been gone for a day now. Siapa kenal penggali kubur? Booking satu slot please? Bosan can die. Feels so different when you're not here you ass. Nak main ping-pong texting dengan siapa lagi lepas ni? Amigo Faiz? He's busy at Wal-Mart.

*Counting the days till November*

Alright, let's try forgetting about Anya and move on for awhile. (Macam boleh je) I have to. Or else my beloved readers akan bosan asyik baca cerita pasal you je, they'll stop reading my blog. Don't stop reading! I wanna be rich! Nuffnang! Hey guys, wanna see pictures of Anya naked? Click at the link on the right side of the page. Yang ada tulis Nuffnang tu. *Hoho Anya, I'm gonna be rich!*





Wow! Mr.nakkenatampar can cook! Hello cute girls out there, want me to cook for you? Don't worry, I'll just make sure the ambulance are ready if you collapse from food poisoning. Ala chill la, baru 3 orang je mati keracunan from my cooking. It's completely safe, trust me.

Today, my sisters just came back from their vacation. Sorang Penang, sorang Perhentian Island. They got me souvenirs! Jaja got me an anklet berbentuk cicak yang diukir dari buah kelapa. (Actually she bought it for herself but i took it from her =D) And Kakak got me a monkayh doll! I think you're supposed to hang it somewhere but it's been hanging on my neck for the past 2 hours. Style, boleh pakai pegi prom!




(Guys, meet Qarira.)

Kalau ada orang terasa, jangan poyo. It has nothing to do with you. ;)

sesi emo beramai ramai.

Anya Qarira Roslan The Rockstar, You asshole!

I am going to hate Malaysia after this. Why Aussie? Why not Segambut, Klang or something? Why must it be some place far that i can't possibly drive there? Even though it means 3.150 bloody bucks for a litre. Super V-Power Racing yo. Bodoh forever. Life's not gonna be the same after this. I HATE YOU!!!! Never have i enjoyed my life this much before this. Why must you go so early? Damn, life is going to be miserable. No more tampar tampar, no more pengukuran pinggang, no more emo episodes, no more problem sharings, no more 513. 513 513 513!!!!!! If you get what I mean. Not the tebu episode you retard, the other thing! I'm sorry for the other readers who might be possibly reading this. You won't understand shit what I'm talking about. Who cares, this is about the girl who made my life fucking interesting for 3 weeks. And just to point out, she's not my chick. She's like a sister to me. A retarded sister to be exact. No offense Jaja, kau tu boleh tahan ah. HAHAHA! Haih, I just don't know how to express myself. Words just can't possibly describe it. Cewah, ayat falsafah. Bak kata Anya, taking a leaf from Pings, publisiti murahan. Hehe. I'm gonna miss you. Please contact me as soon as you reach Melbourne. Bubbles sucks forever.

On the bright side, ibu tersayang is making me go to Aussie instead of UK. I was damn depressed today and when she asked me why, I told her you're leaving for Melbourne. Jom kita quote kata ibunda tersayang "Just study hard, then you can go to Australia if you want." I might be interested in Bubbles after all. If it does go as plan though.

Wei monyet, if this post doesn't make you cry, let me know. I'll write you a poem sampai kau menangis air mata sebaldi. Boleh derma dekat kanak kanak Cambodia.

Much love from Malaysia,

Pings. (Orang yang tak tahu, diam. Jangan tanya kenapa.)





Haha! Anya, I know you love me. This picture is gonna be everywhere in Malaysia!

Sas sesh!