vandaag het ijskoud, varken!

I went to Amsterdam the other day. It was amazing. Well, we reached Schiphol Airport after our flight got delayed for a couple of hours. We went to our hotel and after putting our bags we went for a walk.







Shit i don't remember what happened after that.

oh gosh, they've taken panoramix!

To be fair, I've lost interest in writing. It has been months since I last wrote a proper post. I guess I got bored of writing. It's not fun anymore.

I've been in London for more than 3 months now. It feels like I've been here for a long time. I've settled down finally. I've been staying at my friends house for 2 months, staying in a room that can only fit a bed and a small cupboard. Even the toilet is bigger than my room, no shit. Yeah, so basically I've been having a hard time when I got here.

Well, things are getting better now. I've moved to a small studio right in the center of London. It's not a big one, it's slightly bigger. Now I can walk an extra 3 steps. That's an improvement kan? I have to share the toilet with the person staying next to me though. The toilet is so small I can't even sit properly. Kena duduk senget sebab tak muat duduk betul betul. The shower is in my room. The shower is small too. I can't bend down to take the shampoo. Kena bengkokkan kaki, badan straight and capai the shampoo/sabun. Haha sedih gila.

I don't know why but I still get people talking about me. Saying that I'm too rich that I have to stay alone in Central London. Well fuck that. I've been working my ass off to pay for my rent, so it's up to me to stay wherever the fuck I want to.

But whatever it is, I'm in the shit again now. I stopped working because my exam is just around the corner. I've just moved in to this place 2 weeks ago so I had to buy a lot of things. So now I am broke. I have £13 to last for 2 weeks. Don't convert people, It's like having RM13 for 2 weeks. And I'm living alone so I have to pay for everything.

Yeah, basically that's how it's been for me. Let's get to the fun part now.

London is awesome I must admit. I love it here. Walaupun sometimes the weather can be a bit frustrating. Yesterday I felt the strongest blow of wind in my life. I was walking and the wind was blowing against me. Suddenly, a strong gush of wind came out of nowhere. I literally got blown away by the win. Tercampak ke belakang, nasib baik tak jatuh. Mat Salleh kat sebelah gelak tengok. Iyee bang, memang saya ni gemuk sebenarnya angin tiup rilek je.

It rains here like crazy too. Dah 3 hari hujan tak berhenti. But it's always drizzling. The people here are awesome too. London people are very law obedient. They follow the rules. Standing on the right side of the escalator, wait for the people to get out of the bus/tube first before getting in and stuff. But one thing that amazes me the most is that the cars would stop if there are people at the zebra crossing. Tak kisah lah laju mana, they'll even step on the emergency brakes to let you pass. Rindu pulak Mat Rempit ni. Haha.

Well, these small things doesn't seem like it's a big deal but when you come to think about it, it really does make a huge difference. You know what they say, it's the small things that count.

I'm still getting used to London. One thing that I think I will never get used to are the cold toilet seats. Sumpah mengundang. Dude, it's not cool when you're having a stomach ache and you have to sit really slowly to get used to the cold toilet seat. Berpeluh peluh weh. Duduk laju laju karang terkejut punggung tak pasal masuk balik karang.

And nowadays, it gets dark really early. Pukul 4 dah gelap. It's really depressing when you don't get to see the sun that often. When you go for classes, by the time you go out it's already dark. Rasa macam class lama sangat. Like today, I woke up at 4. Matahari dah lesap. Pressure sial.

Alright people, that's enough for now. I'm gonna write more if I feel like too. Thank you for your time. :)

farny in the big city part II

Hey people!

I'm sorry I haven't been updating for awhile, I've been busy. I have to settle everything before I go. For some of you who don't know, I'm going to London to continue my studies. Big city part II yo. I don't have much to write so I'll update you guys when I get there. Tunggu I transform jadi Mat Salleh dulu eh? ;)

berdosa besar jika tahan kencing.

I don't know why, but I tend to attract cops. I think I have the serial killer/bank robber look. A couple of months ago, something interesting happened. I haven't had time to write about it because I was busy with exams. Now dah habis boleh la cerita.

I was driving to UiTM one day because I had class on that day. I was from Ampang. I would use the NPE highway to go to Shah Alam sebab malas nak hadapi traffic jam. NPE has 2 tolls that you have to pay. So I was at the first toll. Coincidently theres this patrol car next to me masa nak bayar toll. Sengaja nak cari pasal, I gave the " 'ssup look " to them. Lepas bayar toll buat la muka bangga and terus jalan. Suddenly the patrol car drove right behind me and turned on the siren. Terkejut la pulak woi. He turned on the speakers and told me to pull over.

I refused to stop so floored the pedal. The patrol car chased me all the way to Shah Alam.

Pergh, ayat nak poyo je. Takde ah, I pulled over immediately after he told me to. Hehe. So the policeman approached me and asked for my license and my ID. He told me to take my shades off and step out of the vehicle. Gila, tak buat salah apa pun kena macam tu. After dah keluar he checked my car. Korek semua lubang yang ada. Lepas tu dia suruh bukak the boot. Apa benda wei, tak pasal je. So I opened it. Dalam tu ada 4 golf clubs my mum gave to me to beat people up. Peh, poyo lagi. So the officer asked me if I play golf. Malas nak panjangkan cerita I said it was my dad's.

Tiba-tiba dia ternampak my bag at the back seat. He asked me what's inside the bag. I said it was my clothes. Dia buat muka tak percaya. He went to the back seat and selongkar-ed my bag. Berterabur semua baju. Kurang ajar gila. Haha. I think dia tak puas hati sebab tak jumpa apa apa, he told me to put my hands on the roof of my car and spread my legs.

*Whaaaaaaattt??*

So I did what he told me to do. Menggigil jugak la terkangkang macam sakai dekat tepi highway while the officer checked my body. Nampak macam penjenayah mana je. Cars slowed down to look at what was happening. Dapat tangkap Botak Chin ke ni? Ada rasa bangga sikit la timbul bila semua orang tengok. Haha. Sempat la wink dekat perempuan sorang dua. ;) Baru nampak jahat. Hahahahaha. Geli sial.

Anyways, after the officer dah puas meraba otot otot kental tapi tak jumpa apa apa he let me off. So from now on if you see me giving the " 'ssup look ", better stay away. Karang tak pasal kena raba dengan police.

"macam ni lah bila Melayu dapat kuasa." - Azman Halim

(bukan pak guard didalam cerita ini.)

I hereby declare war with the pak guards at UiTM Shah Alam.

I will make your life miserable and I will steal much much more!

Okay, here goes. This happened yesterday. I was gonna send my friend back to her hostel. Usually, hantar lah sampai depan the block. Masa nak masuk gate tu, tiba-tiba ada guard duduk sebelah. He raised his hand. Okay, biasa lah. Angkat la tangan balik. Lalu kat sebelah dia tiba-tiba dia ketuk tingkap kuat kuat. Belum apa lagi dah buat muka nak kena tampar.

So I rolled down my mirror. (hmm, roll ke kalau tekan switch tu eh?)
Okay people, our conversation goes something like this.

PG: Eh, aku suruh kau berhenti kenapa kau tak berhenti? Sukati kau je jalan eh?

F: Aik? Pakcik suruh berhenti ke? Saya ingatkan pakcik angkat tangan je. Saya pun angkat la tangan balik.

PG: Kamu ni betul kurang ajar eh? Saya suruh berhenti kenapa tak berhenti? Kamu tau tak kenderaan pelajar tak boleh masuk sini?

F: Saya dah cakap kan, saya ingatkan pakcik angkat tangan. Saya taktau kenderaan takleh masuk. Saya pun nak hantar kawan saya je.

PG: Kamu tak nampak ke tulis besar-besar tu tak boleh masuk? Kenapa kena hantar kawan awak sampai depan? Dia tu siapa sampai tak boleh jalan sikit?

F: Selama ni saya hantar boleh je.

PG: Ini lah pelajar sekarang, kau jadikan trend eh nak langgar peraturan? Kau orang ingat korang siapa?

F: Mana ada trend.

(This topic lasted for 5 minutes. He keeps on saying the same thing again and again. Btw, I'm not sure what to call him actually, tak tua tak muda. Pakcik je lah.)

PG: Kamu nampak tak kereta Unser kat depan tu?

(There's a Toyota Unser around 50 metres infront of us)

F: Nampak.

PG: Kau takkan tak tahu siapa dalam Unser tu wei?

F: Saya tak tahu lah.

PG:(sambil menggeleng kepala) Ish ish, kau ni pelajar sini ke? Dalam kereta Unser tu pun tak kenal?

F: Mana lah saya nak kenal semua orang bawak kereta apa kat UiTM ni.

PG: Bagi kau punya kad pelajar.

PG: Dah 4 semester kat sini pun tak kenal siapa tu? Kau tau tak HEP siapa?

F: Saya tak kenal.

PG: HEP pun tak kenal? Apa nak jadi kat kau ni? Ni lah, belajar je universiti tapi perangai buruk. Benda yang patut tahu pun tak tahu.

F: Apa apa lah pakcik, saya minta maaf.

(I thought by saying sorry he'd stop babbling but I was wrong. He keeps on talking and talking. Muka kau dahla macam babi, nak buat muka konon tak puas hati. Mengundang penyepak.)

So, after 20 minutes talking, he told me to go. Apa lah masalah kau pakcik? I've got better things to do than identifying who's driving what kind of car. I don't read carta organisasi UiTM when I'm bored so I don't give a damn who's the HEP. And sorry pakcik, si pelajar universiti ni tahu benda apa yang dia patut tahu. Sebab tu la dapat masuk universiti.

And what Azman said after that fits just nice.

"Macam ni lah Melayu bila dapat kuasa sikit."

Oh, and today?

Pak guard kat main door stopped my car and rampas-ed my sticker. Dia suruh buat yang baru punya. Kau tau tak betapa buruknya sticker baru tu? Tak sanggup weh!

Pak Guard UiTM Shah Alam, I declare war.

Fuck you guys! Biadab!

Federico Macheda. Remember the name!

5-goal thriller. Which made me forgot how to sit for 15 minutes. Berdebar gila sampai hanya sanggup berdiri depan tv, lompat lompat pastu mencangkung sebab penat lompat. Apa gila punya game ni? Best game of the season so far. When Macheda scored, I shouted 'GOAL' as loud as I can. My mum woke up. Menggelabah dia turun ingat rumah kena rompak. Sia-sia kena marah pagi buta ni. Ceh.

First time sakit tekak dan berpeluh tengok bola kat rumah. Hampir tertendang laptop secara tak sengaja.

Go to hell Liverpool.

Cygnus.. Vismund Cygnus.

Hmm, I was watching AXN this one day and there's this new show called Wipeout. It's a game show. Tengok sendiri lah, malas nak cerita. Anyways, I have a habit of reading the subtitles while watching. And there's this one part where the contestant mengelak dari kena lepuk dengan this giant plastic rod. So the commentator said :

"Oh! And he jumps to the left to avoid from being impaled by the giant rod!"

The subtitles for that word that made me raised an eyebrow was :

"Oh! Lalu dia meloncat ke tepi untuk mengelak dari disula batang yang besar itu!."

OWW-EMM-GEE! The horror wei!!


Well, www.Dictionary.com states that the definition of Impale is:
[i/ɪmˈpeɪl/ Show Spelled Pronunciation m-peyl] Show IPA –verb (used with object), -paled, -pal⋅ing.

1.	to fasten, stick, or fix upon a sharpened stake or the like.

2.	to pierce with a sharpened stake thrust up through the body, as for torture or punishment.

3.	to fix upon, or pierce through with, anything pointed.

4.	to make helpless as if pierced through.

5.	Archaic. to enclose with or as if with pales or stakes; fence in; hem in.

Nice.
Now i gotta go impale someone.